Thursday, August 25, 2005

We are all made of stars (even if we smell badly)

Yesterday, on the train back from L.A. , I sat in front of a homeless person. He must have bucks though - because it's a $30 fare each way. Anyway, man did he smell. ooh eee. I thought about moving, but I was feeling lazy.
After an hour or so, I used the restroom. When I returned, I noticed the smelly filthy man was sitting in the seat next to mine. hmmm. At that point, I really considered moving, but, I thought, well, that's not very nice, Ms. Compassionate world peace love thy neighbor girl, is it?
So, I stayed put.
The stench was SO bad, it made my eyes sting.
Then I remembered the bad old days, when I was a total pothead, very much a slut even, and I had no apartment. I considered myself a "boho" (I did have a job though - not much of one...). If not for the grace of God, who led me to a friend who "took me in" and later, my aunt who took care of me (I got SO sick - I had pneumonia, mono and an inflamed liver) when I couldn't care for myself...well, who knows what could have happened. I was as close as I ever was to death. It was a scary time for me, I hit the bottom.
A few minutes after I made the decision to stay, this family came and sat diagonally to me. I spotted the cutest little boy in a blue baseball cap - he looked to be 5 or 6. He was clutching a Teddy Bear - clad in a little khaki safari outfit and sunglasses with a Teddy Bear sized backback on his furry little back.
The little boy sat him on the table in front of him, but faced the bear toward the window. He leaned his head against the window, and together, the boy and his Teddy enjoyed the view of the sea...
If I had moved my seat, I never would have been able to savor this beautiful, innocent moment.
All of us "contain multitudes" and contradictions, as Walt Whitman said in "Song of Myself." Bum, innocent,slut, saint. That's me.
(By the way, one of the conductors came by about 20 minutes later, spotted the smelly man, and asked him to move a few rows back...).

8 comments:

LeperColony said...

Sixty dollars to ride the train from San Diego to Los Angeles?

Ouch.

Suesjoy said...

Oh you don't know the half of what I spent to see Rufus Wainwright!
$60 -train
$40 to park my car more than 10 hours at the station.
$64 in cab fares in L.A.
Total cost$164!!!!
Good thing the tickets for the taping was free!
My husband is already looking for a good lawyer...lol not really.

jacko492 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Edie said...

I see you are already getting spam comments. Well, I wonder if the homeless man was riding to work. Most homeless people living out of shelters are employed but can't afford the deposit on an apartment--especially true in places like Southern CA with a high cost of living.

Welcome to blogland...

Suesjoy said...

Thank you Edie! Wow - yeah - spam. It's everywhere...

Suesjoy said...

Oh and Edie - you are probably right about the homeless man...

Sean Smith said...

I don't like smelly homeless people either. Well I don't like the way they smell anyway. Godd for you for sitting next to him and not moving. If we wasn't mentally ill maybe it made him feel better. If he was, he was hearing voices and it didnt make any difference anyway.

Humor Girl said...

Beautiful post...great blog! What an awesome journey you've had so far.